Over the holidays I was watching the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” for the umpteenth time, and the opening caught my attention as it always does.
Two angels are talking in heaven when they summon Clarence, the clockmaker, to go down to earth and help George Bailey. Clarence asks, “Is he sick?”
And angel Joseph answers, “No … worse. He’s discouraged!”
This reminded me of the old fable where the devil once held a sale and offered all the tools of his trade to anyone who would pay their price. They were spread out on the table, each one labeled – hatred, malice, envy, despair, sickness – all the weapons that everyone knows so well.
But off to the side, apart from the rest, lay a harmless looking, wedge-shaped instrument marked “Discouragement.” It was old and worn looking, but it was priced far above all the rest.
When asked why, the devil explained: “Because I can use this one so much more easily than the others. No one knows that it belongs to me, so with it I can open doors that are tightly bolted against the others. Once I get inside, I can use any tool that suits me best.”
Discouragement presents significant problems, impacting various aspects of life, from personal development to professional success.
Discouragement often arises when there’s a gap between our expectations and reality. It can stem from unmet goals, repeated failures or external pressures. When left unchecked, discouragement can sap your energy and enthusiasm, making it difficult to pursue goals. Persistent discouragement can erode confidence and self-worth. Feeling discouraged can lead to avoidance and procrastination, further hindering progress. It can foster a cycle of negative thinking, where one focuses more on failures than successes.
Southern Baptist pastor and author Charles Stanley said: “(Discouragement) can be temporary – or it can destroy our life. The choice is ours. If we refuse to deal with discouragement head-on, we are opening the door for it to completely dominate our life.”
Discouragement is a very real problem within all of us that can cause an attitude crash. Author Glenn Van Ekeren lists the four pitfalls of discouragement:
- Discouragement hurts our self-image.
- Discouragement causes us to see ourselves as less than we really are.
- Discouragement causes us to blame others for our predicament.
- Discouragement causes us to blur the facts.
What are the best ways to address discouragement?
Reframe your perspective. Instead of fixating on what’s not working, focus on progress by celebrating small wins and progress made.
Learn from setbacks. Treat failures as learning opportunities, not as definitive judgments of your abilities. Belgian playwright, poet and essayist Maurice Maeterlinck said: “An obstacle is not a discouragement. It may become one, but only with our own consent. So long as we refuse to be discouraged, we cannot be discouraged.”
Set realistic goals. Divide larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Be flexible with your goals and timelines to accommodate unforeseen challenges.
Seek support. Sharing your feelings with friends, family or mentors can provide new perspectives and encouragement. Engage with groups or communities that share similar goals or challenges.
Practice self-compassion. Recognize that everyone faces setbacks and that it’s okay to feel discouraged at times. Engage in activities that rejuvenate your mind and body, such as exercise, meditation or hobbies.
Maintain a positive environment. I always try to surround myself with positive people who inspire me and lift me up.
B.C. Forbes, founder of “Forbes” magazine, said: “History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.”
Very true when you consider that Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light bulb.
Discouragement comes when we feel that opportunity for success is gone. Discouragement is a natural part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent stop. By reframing setbacks and seeking support, you can transform discouragement into determination.
I’m inspired by the spirit of this little boy. A man stopped to watch a Little League baseball game. He asked one of the youngsters for the score.
“We’re behind 18 to nothing,” he said.
“Well, I must say you don’t look discouraged,” said the man.
“Discouraged?” the boy asked. “Why should we be discouraged? We haven’t come to bat yet.”
Mackay’s Moral: Discouragement is merely a pause in your journey, not the end. Use it as a catalyst to fuel your determination and resilience.
